


Meant To Be

by Mostcrazylady



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Post TSbyBS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-20 02:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3633471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mostcrazylady/pseuds/Mostcrazylady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair thinks Jim doesn't need him anymore.  Jim thinks Blair doesn't want to be his partner.  They both learn that some things are just meant to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meant To Be

_I am just a poor boy_  
_Though my story’s seldom told_  
_I have squandered my resistance_  
_For a pocketful of mumbles_  
_Such are promises_  
_All lies and jests_  
_Still a man hears what he wants to hear_  
_And disregards the rest_  
\------------------ _Paul Simon_

 

Walk Away

Blair decided that the only good thing about the motel was its price. He had driven late into the night and felt himself lucky to have found a vacancy. But he could have just as easily pulled over to the side of the road and slept in his car and saved himself the money for all the good the stop was doing him. He’d showered, hoping that would relax the ache in his gut but hours later found him huddled on the bed in a ball of misery and still wide awake.

The only thing that had gotten him through the academy was the belief that the harassment from the other cadets was worth it. Simon had said Jim was looking for a permanent partner and Blair had thought that meant him. But after his graduation, he learned that Jim had been partnered with Megan. Blair had been placed on desk duty and told to help the other detectives with their paperwork. 

He didn’t know what upset him more, the way he was treated with increasing coolness by the other members of the department or seeing Megan easily pull Jim from a zone and realizing that Jim had found someone else to guide him. It had finally sunk in that his presence wasn’t wanted or needed. He was nothing but an embarrassment to everyone in Major Crimes.

He’d walked out of the PD knowing that no one would even miss him or ask where he was. He’d gone back to the loft, the place he had once thought of as home, packed his things, gotten into his car and driven away. Now Cascade was miles behind him and he lay on the cheap motel bed with a silent cell phone. No one had called wondering where he was, not even Jim. And as the hours passed slowly by, he knew with a soul deep certainty that no one would. As far as Jim and Cascade were concerned, he had ceased to exist. 

\------------------------------------

 

_One less bell to answer_  
_One less egg to fry_  
_One less man to pick up after_  
_I should be happy_  
_But all I do is cry_  
\--------------- _Burt Bacharach, Hal David_

 

Missing

Jim decided that there was nothing good about the loft now that Blair was gone. It had reverted back to just a place to eat, shower and sleep. He realized that he’d gotten used to waking to the scents of fresh coffee and breakfast being cooked even though he remembered calling it a courtship ritual that first morning. Now there were no smells of delicious meals being prepared. No scent of Blair’s shampoo or herbal remedies. No scent of anything that had become pleasant and familiar.

He missed the sound of Blair’s voice as he shared a wealth of information and clever insights into the cases they were working. Yes, Blair could talk up a storm but he also knew when to be quiet and his silences were as soothing as his voice. He missed the sound of Blair’s tribal music that reminded him of the time he’d spent in Peru. He even missed the late night sound of tapping on laptop keys as Blair worked on his dissertation and other assignments for his job at Rainier. Now the loft was quiet, too quiet.

Why hadn’t he noticed that Blair was hurting? He’d allowed Simon to persuade him to continue working with Connor even though he’d been promised that Blair would be his partner once he graduated from the academy. Simon had told him that Blair understood that he needed to keep a low profile until the media forgot about his press conference, but why hadn’t Jim taken the time to talk to him himself? Why hadn’t he made an effort to spend more time with him and let him know that he was wanted? Jim could justify his actions all he wanted to by telling himself that he was busy with his cases but he still should have seen that his friend was miserable.

Jim looked around his loft apartment and sighed. When he’d returned from that week-long undercover assignment with Connor, he’d been shocked to discover that Blair had packed his bags and left. At first he’d been angry at what he’d perceived as Blair’s desertion, but now he only wondered if he was warm and dry and had a safe place to sleep. He missed his friend. 

\------------------------------------

 

_Look what they done to my song ma_  
_It was the only thing that I could do half right_  
_And it’s turning out all wrong, ma_  
_Look what they done to my song_  
\---------------------- _Melanie Satka_

_When you’re weary, feeling small,_  
_When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;_  
_I’m on your side. When times get rough_  
_And friends just can’t be found,_  
_Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down._  
\---------------------------- _Paul Simon_

 

Refuge

Johnny Kolchek frowned as he neared his home and spotted the unfamiliar car parked in his yard. His house was at the end of a dirt road about two miles out of town and he knew the vehicles of any friends who might visit. His right hand slid down to his side where his 357 Magnum rested on the seat. He hadn’t gotten to be forty-nine by being stupid and considering how remote and isolated his home was, he wasn’t about to start now. 

His sharp eyes gave the old green Volvo a quick once over. It didn’t look like a car the Feds would be driving, but then again, those Feds were sneaky. Johnny’s vision moved to the man who sat on his porch and he suspiciously regarded him. The man stood and stepped off the porch at his approach and Johnny relaxed and began to smile as he realized who his visitor was.

It had been almost six years since the last time the kid stayed with him on one of his semester breaks. Johnny shook his head sadly. Gone was the smiling young man who enthusiastically regaled him with stories of people he’d studied in far off countries. Now Blair’s eyes were haunted and he looked like he carried the weight of the world on his back. It was obvious that things hadn’t gone as well as he thought they would since that mess with his dissertation. The kid always was too optimistic for his own good. 

As Johnny parked and got out of his truck, Blair came cautiously toward him and smiled hesitantly as if unsure of his welcome. 

“I know I should have called first instead of just showing up like this.”

Johnny grinned and grabbed Blair in a bear hug. “Didn’t I say you’re always welcome in my home? Good to see you, Sunny.”

“Even after what I did?”

“I know what you did and I know why you did it. As far as I’m concerned, you did the right thing and I’m proud of you.”

Blair sighed with a soul deep weariness. "Well I guess that makes one of us."

"Let's go inside and relax." Johnny gently steered his young friend into the house and went to get them something to drink. He rejected the beers that were his first choice and came back with two bottles of water. After handing one to Blair, who was sitting on the couch, he sat in the chair opposite and said, "Talk to me, Sunny."

"Everything’s gone all wrong, Johnny. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm so tired of trying to make things right."

"When I called you after I heard about the mess with your dissertation, you sounded like everything would be fine. You were all excited about going to the Academy and being able to work with Ellison on a full-time basis. What happened?"

Blair stared at the bottle he held. "I was excited. Jim and I had talked about everything that had happened and we'd gotten things worked out between us. When I went to the Academy, Simon partnered Jim with Megan because she knew about his senses. Before I left, I spent time with her going over how to help Jim and it sounded like things would be okay while I was gone. The Academy was hell, but I put up with it because I wanted to be Jim's partner so badly. When I graduated, Simon told me the higher-ups were making waves about me being out on the streets. He said the media was still sniffing around, and I needed to keep a low profile. He told me not to worry about Jim, he and Megan were doing a great job as partners. I spent almost three months on desk duty while Jim worked cases with Megan."

"Is that when things started going downhill?" Johnny asked.

"We hardly saw each other at all. We kept ending up with different hours and Jim was pretty busy working his cases. I had to ask Simon if Jim was having any problems with his senses and Simon kept telling me that Jim was doing great and Megan was a big help to him. Every time I asked when I'd be able to officially be Jim's partner, Simon would just say I needed to keep a low profile for a little while longer. The last time I asked him, he said that Jim was happy with Megan as his partner and they made a great team. That's when I knew that I had no future with the police department, and it was pointless for me to stay. So I left."

"Aw, Sunny. Want me to go shoot Ellison for you? I’d be happy to." 

“NO!” Blair looked horrified at the idea that his friend just might do that.

“Well then, how about a nice Desert Party?”

“No Desert Parties either!” Blair shook his head and sighed.

Johnny moved over to sit next to Blair on the couch and put his arm around him. "”I'm so sorry things didn't work out."

Blair covertly wiped at his eyes and leaned his head against Johnny's shoulder. "Me too. I spent the next four days just driving around aimlessly, then realized I was heading south and next thing I knew I was across the Hoover Dam and almost in Kingman. That's when I decided to head for Goldman. I remembered what you said when you called me after the dissertation mess, that if I needed a break I should come to visit. I need a break big time. So here I am."

"Well you came to the right place. Chez Kolchek is open for business. So what say we get your things out of the car and while you're unpacking, I fix us something to eat. And afterwards you can crawl into bed and get yourself a good night's sleep because you look like you really need it."

For the first time since Blair's arrival he managed to smile. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Johnny."

"And you'll never have to find out." With that, he patted Blair on the back and walked him out to his car to retrieve his belongings.

\---------------

Later that evening, Johnny paused outside Blair’s door and listened carefully. The slow breathing and steady heartbeat he heard told him that his guest was asleep. He sighed as he retrieved his pipe and stash from its hiding place in the kitchen then went out to the porch to watch the sunset.

This was his favorite part of the day, watching the colors in the sky shift from yellow to gold to orange to red as the sun went down. The variations in the colors had always fascinated him to the point where he’d lose himself in the sight until he discovered that a little pot seemed to keep his vision under control. As he inhaled and held the smoke in his lungs, he leaned back in his chair and remembered the day he’d met Blair Sandburg.

\---1979---

Johnny maneuvered his 1970 Chevy pick-up truck up the mountain road and grinned. He had two things on his mind, the joint waiting at home for him and the Vincent Black Shadow motorcycle in the bed of his truck. Yeah, she needed some serious work, but once he had her up and running she’d be worth every penny. She had been built to go up to 145 miles per hour and had rightfully earned her nickname of The Widowmaker, but he didn’t intend to ride her foolishly. No sir, he planned to take good care of his new baby.

With his thoughts occupied thus, he barely noticed the magnificent view of the valley below that was revealed as the road switch backed up the mountainside. As he rounded a bend near the top, he saw an old car with its hood up parked on the side of the road. Beside it stood a lovely young lady who stared at it helplessly.

“Ah, a damsel in distress,” he murmured. “And I’m just the knight in shining armor to ride to the rescue.” 

She waved and smiled at him as he pulled over behind her car.

"Looks like you could use some help. What seems to be the problem?"

"Thank you so much for stopping," she gushed. "I don't know what's wrong. I was just driving along up the road and the car made a noise and started jerking and slowing down. Then all this smoke started coming out from under the hood. I just barely made it to this spot to pull over."

"Well let me take a look," Johnny smiled and leaned over to peer at the engine. One glance of his experienced eye showed him the problem. He shook his head in commiseration. "Looks like you blew a head gasket."

"Is that serious?"

"Afraid so. Your car will need to be towed into town and Marty, that's our mechanic, will probably have to order a part for it. I imagine it will take a few days for the part to come in and him to fix your car." At her look of dismay, he hurried to add, "But don't worry. I'll drive you into town to Marty's place and tell him what the problem is."

"I can't begin to thank you enough. By the way, I'm Naomi Sandburg." She smiled at him in a flirty way and Johnny grinned back.

"Johnny Kolchek. Pleased to meet you. Let's put your things in my truck and we'll be on our way."

Naomi moved to open the trunk of her car and called out to an unseen someone. "Blair. Come on, Sweetie. This nice man is going to give us a ride."

Johnny frowned and looked around warily. He wondered if this was one of those scams where someone would lure an unsuspecting passerby to stop just so their hidden friends could rob them. He was reassured however by the sight of the child who shyly stepped from behind the car. 

‘Well, damn. Just my luck she's got a kid,’ Johnny grumbled to himself. Still he couldn’t help smiling at the curly haired little boy. ‘Oh well, two out of three ain’t bad.’ He took the two suitcases from Naomi and stowed them in the bed of the pick-up next to his Widowmaker. Then he opened the passenger door and gallantly assisted Naomi into the truck. No one would ever say that Johnny Kolchek was not a gentleman. The boy scrambled into the cab after her and Johnny carefully shut the door and headed around the front to climb in the driver's side.

As they pulled back onto the road, Johnny couldn’t help asking, “So how come your husband lets you drive all alone out in the middle of nowhere?”

“Oh, I’m not married,” she offhandedly replied.

“Where’s the boy’s daddy?”

“Blair doesn’t need a father. He has me.” She proudly patted her son’s leg.

Johnny glanced over at Blair who squirmed and pretended to be absorbed in the view. He mulled over this bit of information as they crested the pass and started down the other side of the mountain. 

"Goldman' s only a little tourist town nowadays since the mines closed up," he mentioned thoughtfully. "People come in on the tour buses from Kingman and Las Vegas, so they only spend the day. We had a small hotel but it didn't get enough business to stay open for overnight guests, so it's just a restaurant now."

"Well, we'll have to find someplace to stay," Naomi frowned, then shrugged. "Oh well, we've camped out before."

“You’re welcome to stay at my place while your car’s getting fixed. You can take my bedroom and I’ll bunk out in the living room with the boy,” Johnny offered. He didn't like the idea of a woman and child sleeping outdoors unprotected.

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly take your room. I’m sure your bed’s big enough for me to share with you.” Naomi smiled and placed her hand on his knee.

“I’m sure it is,” Johnny grinned in spite of the quiet sigh from Blair. He figured the kid must be used to his momma sharing beds with men she’d just met. Yep. Good grass to smoke, a Widowmaker to restore and a lovely lady to warm his bed. Life didn’t get any better.

Thinking back on it, it was the best summer Johnny had ever spent. Naomi got herself a job in one of the little shops that catered to the tourist trade so she could earn enough money to pay for her car repairs. She warmed his nights with a passion he’d never encountered before with any of his other bed partners. 

But it was the little ten-year old boy who warmed his days and gave him thoughts of settling down for the first time in his life. At first Blair had been shy around him, almost as if he was used to being rebuffed by his mother’s boyfriend. But when Johnny made it clear that his company was more than welcome, he happily followed the older man as he puttered around his property. He’d never been one to have much to do with kids, but there was something about Blair that was special. For one thing, he was smoking a lot less grass since he’d been keeping company with the boy. He didn’t seem to need it to keep his vision from going all wonky on him at the end of the day. 

By the end of summer he had become used to the idea of having a family. Naomi's car had been fixed after a week and she showed no signs of leaving anytime soon. He really hoped she would stick around; he was beginning to believe that he was in love with her and that she loved him in return. He knew he loved Blair who he had started calling Sunny, a nickname he thought was appropriate.

“I wish you wouldn’t call him Sonny,” Naomi said quietly one evening.

“Why not? It fits him," Johnny asked. "He’s got a smile like the sun coming out from behind the clouds. It makes you feel all warm and good inside.” 

“Oh, Sunny as in sunshine. Well, that’s all right then.” Naomi nodded and seemed satisfied with his answer.

That should have told him right there that she wasn’t looking for a husband for herself or a father for her little boy. He had conveniently forgotten all the times that Naomi had declared herself a free spirit. He should have known better than to allow himself to get comfortable with the image of himself as a family man.

He supposed now that the real death knell of their relationship occurred one evening after supper. He told Blair to put the butter in the refrigerator and Blair replied with a sassy "Yes, Sir."

“You don’t need to call me sir. I was only an enlisted man,” Johnny replied automatically.

Naomi paused in her dish washing. “Enlisted? Were you in the military?” she asked coolly.

“Unfortunately, I enlisted in the Marines. Served a tour in Vietnam.”

“You fought in the war in Vietnam?” Johnny didn’t seem to notice the sudden chill in the air that his admission had caused.

“That was no war,” he huffed in disgust. “That was a conflict.”

“Then why on earth did you enlist?”

“I was young and stupid," Johnny replied honestly. "The whole time I was fighting in Nam, I kept wondering what the hell I’d been thinking. The first thing I did when I got home was join the Vietnam Veterans Against the War and start protesting."

"Well, I'm glad you saw the light." Naomi returned to her dishes and Johnny thought no more about the conversation.

Barely a week later, they had just finished clearing the breakfast dishes off the table when Naomi suddenly announced, "Get your things together, Blair. It's time for us to move on."

Johnny and Blair both stared at her in open mouthed shock as she breezed out of the kitchen and headed for the bedroom to pack her own suitcase. Blair got up and followed her and Johnny could hear their quiet conversation.

"But, Mom. Do we have to go?" Blair sounded brokenhearted and Johnny briefly hoped that the boy could talk her out of leaving.

"Now, Sweetie. You know it's not good stay in one place too long. There's a whole world out there with so many interesting things to see and do."

"But I like it here. And I like Johnny. Don't you like Johnny anymore?"

"Of course I do, but it's time for us to detach with love and move on. Now go pack your things. I want to get going before it gets any later."

Johnny watched Blair slowly walk into the living room and forlornly begin to gather his books and other keepsakes. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then headed for the bedroom in his own attempt to talk her into staying.

"Why are you going, Naomi?" he sadly asked. "What have I done wrong?"

She paused in her packing long enough to smile at him and pat his cheek. "Nothing at all. It's just time to move on. I thought you understood this was only a temporary stop on our way. A pleasant interlude, but only temporary."

She put the last of her clothes in her suitcase and headed out the door. Johnny followed her as far as the porch and watched her open her trunk as she cheerfully called out, "Hurry up Blair. We need to get going."

He turned as Blair came out with his suitcase and backpack and knew the boy was trying to hold back his tears. It only took a moment’s shared look of misery before Blair dropped his luggage and threw his arms around Johnny's waist. "I don't want to leave you," he whispered.

"I don't want you to go, Sunny," Johnny replied and hugged him back. They stood like that for a moment until Johnny leaned back far enough to see Blair's face. "You know my phone number and my address. I'm not much for letter writing myself, but maybe you could send me a note now and then and let me know how you are. You could tell me about the places you've seen and the people you've met. Maybe you could even call me collect once in a while. I'd really like that."

Blair wiped his eyes and smiled bravely. "I'd like that too. I promise I’ll write to you." Then he threw himself back into Johnny's arms and hugged him tightly. "I love you, Johnny."

"I love you too, Sunny. Don't you ever doubt that. Maybe someday we'll see each other again."

They were interrupted by Naomi's impatient call. "Come on, Blair." With a sigh, they reluctantly released their hold and Johnny carried the suitcase to the car while Blair trailed behind with his backpack.

With the car now loaded and its passengers on board, Johnny tried one more time. "Isn't there anything I can do to talk you into staying?"

Naomi smiled and shook her head. "It's time for us to move on. You take care of yourself now."

"You take care of yourself too, Naomi. Sunny, take care of yourself and your mom." 

Johnny sighed in resignation and stepped away from the car. As he watched it travel down the road, his eyes never left the face of the little boy who had turned to look back at him. The car rounded the final bend that would take it out of sight and he saw Blair's lips move and heard him whisper, "I'll miss you, Johnny. I love you."

Johnny finally let his own tears fall and he softly began to whisper. 

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."

Sorry as he was to see Naomi go, it broke his heart to lose her little boy. But true to his word, about two months later, he received his first letter from Blair full of the sights he'd seen and the people he'd met. The letters continued to arrive, always full of news and sometimes with a picture tucked inside. Johnny cherished each and every one and kept them in a special box in his dresser drawer.

No one could've been prouder than he was when he found out that Blair was entering college at the tender age of sixteen. He even made the two-day drive up to Cascade, Washington for Blair's graduation from Rainier University, though it annoyed him to discover that Naomi wasn't there. He vicariously shared Blair's quest for a sentinel, even going so far as to allow his own hearing and eyesight to be tested. He was thrilled for his boy when Blair called to tell him that he'd finally found someone with all five senses enhanced. Over the next four years, he enjoyed hearing about the things the sentinel was learning and even applied some of the ideas to his own two enhanced senses. Of course Blair couldn't tell him the man's name but he made an educated guess that the man was a cop when Blair told him he'd been given a ride along pass so he could observe members of the police department.

He was led to understand that things were going along well up until the time Blair's dissertation was leaked to the media. Yeah, he still had a fondness for Naomi, but he could have easily wrung her neck when he found out that she was the one responsible. So he called Blair to see if there was anything he could do to help and Blair had been relieved to find that Johnny was still his friend. He sounded so excited about being offered a badge and was really enthused about going to the Academy. That was the last time they'd spoken until today when Johnny pulled into his yard and found Blair waiting for him.

\--- Present---

Johnny knocked the ashes out of his pipe and stood up. "Aw, Sunny, what have they done to you," he sighed. He looked north towards Cascade and glared. "Well those bastards won't get another chance to hurt you, God dammit. And anyone who tries will have to go through me first. You're mine now and I'll make sure you get your smile back."

Fiercely determined to keep his vow, he went inside for the night. 

\--------------------------------------

 

_Oh-oh, yes I’m the great pretender_  
_Pretending that I’m doing well_  
_My need is such I pretend too much_  
_I’m lonely but no one can tell_  
\---------------------- _The Platters_

Absence

Jim turned down his hearing and sense of smell before he walked into the smoky, noisy bar. Just like Blair had taught him, he almost smiled then caught himself. Damn, he had to stop thinking about Sandburg. The man was gone and that was that. He spotted the other members of the Major Crimes Unit and got himself a beer before joining them at their table where they had gathered to celebrate the successful conclusion to another tough case. The only empty seat was beside Connor and he sighed in resignation as he sat down.

"I was beginning to think you weren't going to make it, Jimbo," Megan smiled and leaned closer to him. Jim forced a smile and subtly moved slightly away from her. Maybe someday she'd figure out just how much he hated the nickname she'd stuck him with and stop calling him that, or maybe she already knew and used it to deliberately annoy him.

"Good bust, Jim," his boss Simon Banks called out from his side of the table. "I knew I did the right thing by assigning Connor as your partner. You make a great team."

Jim nodded his thanks even though he disagreed with the great team part. Connor couldn't hold a candle to Sandburg, not as a cop, not as his partner, and definitely not as his guide. But there wasn't much he could do about it since Sandburg wasn't here anymore. Damn, there he was thinking about Blair again. He made an attempt to join in the conversation, if only to keep his thoughts away from a subject that only depressed him.

His efforts were successful for a while as he listened to the cop talk going on around him. The evening progressed and he slowly began to relax but his comfortable mood evaporated as he suddenly caught a snatch of the tune that was currently playing on the jukebox. It sounded like Dolly Parton's voice singing Tom Paxton’s melancholy words.

_Are you going away with no word of farewell_

That's exactly what Blair had done. He'd gone away taking everything he owned with him and leaving a short note for Jim explaining that he'd realized that being a cop was not his thing.

_Will there be not a trace left behind_

His scent was slowly fading from the loft and soon that would be gone too.

_I could’ve loved you better didn’t mean to be unkind_

Jim regretted his lack of attention as far as Blair was concerned. He should have realized that Blair wasn't happy and talked to him about how things were going. Yeah, Simon had kept him busy by handing him one case after another, but he still should have taken the time to pay more attention to his friend. He really could have loved him better and ignoring his problems was the unkindest thing he could have done.

_You know that was the last thing on my mind_

He hadn't thought about his actions as far as Blair was concerned and how Blair would interpret them. And now he'd lost his chance to make amends.

His bleak thoughts were brought to an abrupt end by a sharp pain in his thigh. He flinched and glared at Connor who sat next to him with her hand on his leg.

"I told you to stop doing that," he all but growled at her.

"You were zoning again," she whispered.

"I was not zoning, I was thinking," he hissed back at her. "You wouldn't recognize a zone if it bit you on the ass. Sandburg knew what one looked like and he never had to resort to physical abuse in order to bring me back."

"Well, Sandy isn't here. He took off and I'm the only one who can help you now."

Jim fought the urge to wipe that smug look off her face. "For the last time, stop calling him Sandy. His name is Blair. Sand. Burg. Is it against your religion to call someone by their given name?”

By now, Jim's raised voice had caught the attention of his coworkers but he didn't give a damn. However, it did please him to see Megan squirm a little at his outburst. He glanced around the table and didn't care for some of the looks he was getting. H. and Rafe looked uncomfortable, Joel looked sympathetic, and Simon looked almost angry and ready to say something. Jim realized that their company wasn’t what he needed to fill the empty spot inside of him and stood to leave.

"I’ve had enough for tonight. I'll see you tomorrow."

He tuned out their voices as he left the bar and climbed into his truck. He decided he'd sleep in Blair's room that night because no matter how hard he tried not to, he missed his absent friend more and more. Maybe having the scent of Blair around him would allow him to pretend that his friend was still living in the loft.

\------------------------------------

_I see that worried look upon your face,_  
_You’ve got your troubles, I got mine._  
_You need some sympathy, well so do I,_  
_You’ve got your troubles, I got mine._  
_And so forgive me if I seem unkind,_  
_You’ve got your troubles, I got mine._  
_And it must seem to you, my friend_  
_That I ain’t got no pity for you,_  
_Well, that ain’t true,_

_I’d help another place, another time,_  
_You’ve got your troubles, I got mine._  
\-------------------- _Roger Greenaway, Roger Cook_

Teach

"Mr. Sandburg?"

Blair put his bag in his car and turned to face the woman who addressed him.

"I'm Beverly Peterson. You are the Mr. Sandburg who was on television a few months ago, aren't you? You talked about sentinels and how they had, what did you call them, enhanced senses."

Blair's smile froze and his heart skipped a beat. "You've mistaken me for someone else," he tried to deny and began to turn away, only to be stopped by her hand on his arm.

"Oh no, that was you. Please, my son needs your help. We think he's one of those sentinel people. Everything sounds too loud to him, he can't stand bright lights, he keeps getting rashes, and nothing tastes good to him."

"No, you're wrong. I'm sorry about your son but there's nothing I can do for him."

"But you know about sentinels. You said so on television. You must know how to help him," she insisted.

"Didn't you hear what I said? Sentinels are nothing more than a myth and I made up everything in my paper."

"You might have made it up about that policemen being one but you said you also used information you'd found in old documents. So sentinels must be real."

"Well I never found any and I can't help your son. I'm sorry." Blair backed away from the woman.

"Please, you're our only hope. We've taken him to doctors and they can't do anything for him except tell us to put him in a psych hospital. He's our only child. Please."

Blair held his hands up and shook his head in disagreement. All he could say to her desperate pleas was, "I'm sorry, I can't help him. I'm sorry." He jumped in his car and as he drove away he caught a glimpse of the woman in his rearview mirror and knew that she was crying. All the way back to Johnny's house, he kept whispering, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Johnny arrived home and found him sitting on the porch, nursing a beer and looking miserable. "Damn, what's happened?" he murmured. He'd been glad that Blair had seemed to be cheering up over the last couple of weeks and had finally decided to leave his refuge and venture into town. He'd been in such a good mood this morning, so something must have happened while he'd been gone. Johnny got himself a beer and joined Blair on the porch.

"Do you know a woman named Beverly Peterson?" Blair quietly asked.

"Yeah, I know Bev and her husband Hank. They live over on the other side of town. Why do you ask?"

"I met her in town today. Do you know anything about her son having health problems?"

"Sam? Yeah, I'd heard his health hadn't been too good ever since he got lost out in the mountains a few months ago." Blair looked interested, so Johnny supplied the details. "He was out alone riding his quad and didn't come home that night. I was with the search and rescue group that went out looking for him. It took us two days to find him. Looked like he tried to ride his quad up the steep side of a wash and it tipped over on him and pinned him there. He was banged up pretty bad. His leg was busted; he had a concussion, scrapes and bruises, and was suffering from exposure. I know he spent a while in the hospital before they let him come home."

"His mother thinks he's a sentinel," Blair sighed. "From the symptoms she described, he might possibly have come online during the time he was lost. She recognized me and wants me to help him."

"Are you gonna?"

"I don't know." Blair ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "When I left Cascade, I swore I'd never have anything to do with sentinels ever again. I'm telling you, man, I've totally lost all my enthusiasm for the subject. To spend my time working with another sentinel and commit myself heart and soul to him, just to have him decide that he doesn’t need me anymore, I don't think I can go through that again.” He stood and paced for a moment before turning back to Johnny. “But if this kid really is a sentinel and he's suffering, how can I not help him? What kind of person does that make me if I just turn my back and walk away?"

"Once burned, twice shy," Johnny murmured.

"Exactly," Blair agreed. "And boy did I get burned.”

“Sam’s a good kid. He must be about twenty by now,” Johnny said thoughtfully. “Always willing to pitch in and help others. I’ve never known him to cause any trouble; he’s more likely to stop trouble from happening.”

“I don't want to get involved, but if there's the possibility that I can help him --. Damn, Johnny. What do I do?"

"You do what's right for you. And no matter what you decide, I'm with you."

"Thanks. But how do I know what's right for me?"

"Why don't you go do your candle thing? You said that helps you make decisions."

"My candle thing?" Blair couldn't help smiling.

"Yeah, you know. Where you light those candles and stare at them and get so still I have to come check to see if you're still alive cause I can't tell if you're breathing or not."

"It's called meditation," Blair smiled. "And you're right, that's a very good idea." He gave Johnny a quick pat on the shoulder and headed indoors.

Johnny looked thoughtful as he leaned back in his chair. He knew Blair would do what was right; he just needed some time to think about it. He chuckled as he heard Blair muttering to himself, "Candle thing. Naomi would love hearing it called that."

\-----------------

Two days later, Blair knocked on the door of a small house which sat on a rise overlooking Goldman. After a moment, he heard movement inside and the door was opened by a man who regarded him suspiciously.

"Can I help you?" the man asked.

"Mr. Peterson?" Blair asked in turn and the man nodded. "My name is Blair Sandburg. I met your wife in town the other day and she said your son was having some problems with his senses."

The man frowned. "She told me about you. She said you weren't interested in helping us."

Mrs. Peterson appeared at her husband's side and Blair directed his attention to her.

"Mrs. Peterson, I'd like to apologize for my rudeness the other day. I really didn't think anyone would recognize me here and you took me by surprise. I've given a lot of thought to what you said and I'd like to try to help. That is, if you still want me to."

She gave her husband a pleading look and he stepped back from the door. "Come in," he said grudgingly and led the way to a small living room where he pointed at a chair and said, "Have a seat." He then joined his wife on the couch.

Blair held out the folder he had brought with him. "I've written up some information on sentinels that I think might be helpful to you. I'd like you both to read through it and I'll answer any questions you might have. Would it be possible for me to speak with your son? It will help me determine if he really is a sentinel."

Mrs. Peterson glanced at her husband then back at Blair. "Sam's resting right now. He hasn't been sleeping very well."

"I hate to disturb him, but I do need to talk to him."

Mr. Peterson, who had been thumbing through the file, looked up. "If there's any hope you can help him…"

Mrs. Peterson stood and motioned for Blair to follow her. "Let's see if he's awake." She led the way down a short hall and they paused outside the door that she carefully opened. "Sam, are you awake?" she quietly asked. "There's someone here who'd like to talk to you."

"Is Tony back?" a pain-filled voice answered.

"No, dear. He won't be back until tomorrow." She stepped aside so Blair could enter the darkened bedroom. "This is Mr. Sandburg, honey. He's here to help you."

"I thought I heard Tony." The young man's disappointment was obvious. "It sounded like him."

Blair moved to the side of the bed and kept his voice soft as he held out his hand. "Hello Sam. My name is Blair. I hear you've been having some problems."

Sam hesitantly took his hand then looked at him in puzzlement. "You feel like Tony."

Blair's eyebrows rose as he considered that statement. "Who's Tony?"

"He's my best friend," Sam smiled briefly then his smile disappeared as he continued. "He had to go to Phoenix for his brother's wedding. He didn't want to go but his family didn't give him a choice."

"How long have you known Tony?"

"We've been best friends since third grade. Everything feels better when Tony's here."

Blair nodded in understanding. "Your mom tells me that your senses have been acting up. The light hurts your eyes, sounds are too loud, your clothes give you rashes, food doesn't taste good, and everything smells bad."

"Are you a shrink?" Sam asked worriedly. "Are you here to put me in the nuthouse?"

Blair shook his head and smiled gently. "I'm no shrink. And you don't belong in a nuthouse. I know about heightened senses and I'd like to try to help you."

Sam relaxed in the bed and gave his full attention to Blair as he began to explain about heightened senses and sentinels while Sam's parents remained in the doorway as they listened to him talk. Blair gave them the bare basics which included sensory spikes, zone outs, and the fact that historically a sentinel always had a companion to watch his back. He then began to walk Sam through the process of picturing dials for each sense and turning them down until everything was at a comfortable level for him. He was pleased at how quickly Sam understood the concept. When he saw that Sam had fallen into a restful sleep, Blair ushered the Petersons out of the room and back down the hall.

Mrs. Peterson quietly wiped the tears from her eyes and whispered, "Thank you."

Her husband was too relieved to do more than nod in agreement.

"When will his friend Tony be back from Phoenix?" Blair asked.

"He's supposed to be back tomorrow afternoon. Why?"

"There's a strong possibility that he might be Sam's guide. If so, I can teach him how to help Sam. But I need to talk with all of you as soon as possible. I'm staying with Johnny Kolchek and you can reach me there. Will you call me as soon as Tony's back?"

"We'll do that, Mr. Sandburg. I can't tell you how grateful we are that you've agreed to help our boy."

Blair gave them a small smile. "I can't guarantee anything but I will do my best to help," he cautioned them. "And please, call me Blair."

"We understand," Mr. Peterson said as he shook Blair's hand at the door. "And I'm Hank and she's Bev. Say hi to Johnny for us. We'll see you tomorrow."

Blair got in his car and headed for home. For the first time in a long time he began to feel that life wasn't so bad after all. Maybe he wasn't meant to be a guide to a sentinel, maybe his purpose in life was to teach them control and help them until they could find their guide. He was anxious to meet Tony and sincerely hoped that Sam's best friend was indeed his guide. That way, when the teaching was done and the lessons learned, it wouldn't be so painful for him to detach with love. He pushed away thoughts of Jim and optimistically began thinking of ways to teach the new sentinel.

\------------------------------------

_You, telling me the things you’re gonna do for me_  
_I ain’t blind and I don’t like what I think I see_  
\------------------------------ _Michael McDonald_

Betrayal

Jim signed his name on the final report and slipped the papers into their folder. He rubbed his forehead and sighed. Another case from hell finally put to bed. It seemed like that's all he was getting assigned nowadays, one case from hell after another. With another sigh, he wearily rose and walked toward Simon's office, folder in hand. Maybe he could get out of here before Connor showed up. Lately she'd been bugging him about moving into his loft apartment, becoming more and more insistent that she should be staying close in order to help him with his senses. He had a feeling that staying close in her mind meant sharing his bed as well as his home, and there was no way that would ever happen. It was bad enough he had to spend his working hours with her, he had no intentions of spending his off-hours with her too.

He was about to knock on his captain's door when he heard Simon mention Sandburg's name. He turned his hearing up a notch and realized that Simon was on the telephone with the chief of police. Jim discreetly walked back to his desk and opened the folder up pretending to be engrossed in reading it, while carefully fine-tuning his hearing in order to hear both sides of Simon's telephone conversation. His curiosity slowly turned into anger as he listened.

"Now, I told you not to worry. Sandburg's gone for good. We haven't heard a thing from him since the day he left." Jim could hear the smugness in Simon's voice as he spoke. "And if we haven't heard from him in three months, we're not going to hear from him at all. That's how good a job I did convincing him that Ellison didn't need his help with the senses anymore."

The police chief laughed. "I still can't believe you convinced Ellison not to go looking for him."

"Well it was easier than I thought it would be," Simon chuckled. "I think he was already half convinced that Sandburg wasn't cut out to be a cop and was only going through the motions just to make him happy. He even believed me when I told him Sandburg said that he enjoyed doing the paperwork and preferred desk duty to being out in the field. Like I said, we don't have to worry about Ellison taking off looking for Sandburg. He's been working with Connor and his case closure rate is as high as it ever was. He seems to be adjusting nicely to his new partner. I don't think he even misses Sandburg."

"Good. I'd hate to lose our top detective just because of a long haired cop wannabe."

"We only offered Sandburg the badge to make Ellison happy. I honestly never thought he'd accept it and I certainly didn't expect him to make it through the Academy. At least he fell for my line about the higher-ups wanting him to keep a low profile." Simon chuckled harder. "Every time Sandburg asked when he'd be able to start working in the field as Ellison's partner, I just rubbed it in some more about what a great job Connor was doing helping Ellison with his senses. Like I said, Sandburg's gone for good and Ellison's here to stay."

Simon and the chief of police ended their conversation and Jim shook himself as he heard the line disconnect. He was enraged by what he'd heard and furious with Simon for his duplicity. He felt doubly betrayed for himself and on Sandburg's behalf and began to rise from his chair, determined to march into his captain's office, tell him just what he thought of his actions and throw his badge in the man's face.

Jim stopped himself with a sudden thought. If he quit now, he'd lose access to the police databases which were the fastest and best way to find out where Sandburg had disappeared to. No, he'd quietly search for his friend and when he found him, then he'd throw his badge in Simon's face. Having decided on his plan of action, Jim nodded grimly to himself and got to work.

\----------------------------------

_I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain_  
_I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end_  
_I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend_  
_But I always thought that I’d see you again_  
\--------------------------- _James Taylor_

Remedy

Blair stood in Johnny's yard and smiled as he watched Tony guide Sam through the use of his senses. Sam had made a lot of progress during the past two months and, with Tony's help, he was developing control quickly. Blair had a lot of pride in his students and couldn't help thinking how much easier Sam was to teach than Jim had been. Maybe the lessons went more smoothly because he wasn't as emotionally attached to Sam as he had been to Jim. He felt a twinge of hurt at that thought. No, mustn't think about Jim. That was over and done with. He deliberately pushed thoughts of his former sentinel away and brought his attention back to his students.

Any questions Blair had about Tony being Sam's guide had disappeared as soon as he met the blond haired young man. Tony had at first been almost jealously possessive of Sam and suspicious of Blair until he realized that Blair was there to teach them both. Then he had become fiercely protective and declared that he was willing to do whatever it took to help his friend. He'd listened carefully to Blair's instructions and even made notes for his own reference. His close attention had paid off and now he easily guided Sam through his lesson.

"Look down the road and tell me what you see," Tony quietly said.

“There’s a blue and white pick-up that just came around the bend,” Sam answered.

“That’s good, Sam. Can you see who’s in it?”

“Just the driver. A man. He’s wearing a baseball cap. It says Jags on it.”

Blair frowned and asked, “Can you read the license plate?”

“It’s a Washington plate. 804GDT,” Sam replied after a moment's closer scrutiny.

Blair closed his eyes and whispered “Shit.”

“What’s wrong, Teach?” Tony asked. “Is it someone you know?”

"Yeah,” Blair sighed. “Go inside, guys. I can handle this.”

Sam inhaled and looked sharply at him. Blair could tell by the look on his face that he was being scanned. 

“Are you sure, Teach?” Sam asked as he picked up on Blair's sudden nervousness.

“Yeah I'm sure. Go on, it's okay."

The boys backed off and Blair turned to face the truck that pulled into the yard. He cautiously watched the man who got out and approached him.

“What are you doing here, Jim?” he asked as he noted that Jim looked unsure of his welcome and wondered where the self-confident man he had known had disappeared to.

“Looking for my guide.” Jim's reply surprised him.

“Where is Megan?” Blair asked in concern.

Jim's disgust was evident when he frowned and answered, “I don’t know where Connor is and quite frankly I don’t care as long as she’s far away from me.”

“What? She’s your guide, Jim. She should be with you.”

“She is not my guide. You are.”

Blair shook his head sadly. “No I’m not, Jim.”

Jim's voice got a little louder as he regarded Blair in bafflement. “How can you say that? Of course you are.”

“Is there a problem, Teach?”

Jim glared in annoyance at the two young men who had quietly approached and now stood behind Blair. He looked more closely at the dark haired one and nodded grimly.

“I see," Jim sighed in resignation and his shoulders slumped. "You don’t need me anymore. You’ve found yourself a new sentinel.”

“Sam is not my sentinel,” Blair protested.

“Damn right he’s not,” the blond young man spoke up belligerently.

“Tony is Sam’s guide, not me," Blair patiently explained. "I’m helping them learn how to control Sam’s senses.”

"I thought we weren’t supposed to let anyone know about that," Sam asked in surprise while he eyed Jim uncertainly. There was something about this stranger that gave him a funny feeling like a tingling deep inside.

"It’s okay guys," Blair reassured them. "Jim won’t say anything about you to anyone just like you won’t say anything about him."

Jim was so engrossed in his observations of the young sentinel standing in front of him that he never noticed that a third man had joined their group until he spoke.

“So this is the great Ellison." The man's voice dripped with contempt. "Haven’t you done enough? You come to finish the job?" He turned to the two boys who were exchanging confused looks. "This is the sentinel that Sunny gave four years of his life to in Cascade. And after he took everything he could get, he tossed him aside like yesterday’s garbage. Still willing to shoot him for you, Sunny.”

"No!" Blair frowned.

"You’re right. A nice Desert Party would be more fun." The man had a gleam in his eye that made Jim uneasy.

"Johnny!" Blair swatted Johnny on the arm and gave him a warning look. "Everyone, just back off. This is between Jim and me and doesn't concern you."

"Your call, Sunny." Johnny motioned for Sam and Tony to precede him toward the house. "Just remember, Ellison. You're in our territory now, so watch your step."

Blair looked at him in disbelief for a moment until he heard Jim clear his throat.

"What’s a Desert Party?" Jim asked suspiciously.

"Believe me, you don’t want to know." Blair shook his head then turned his attention back to Jim. "Why are you here alone, Jim? Where’s Megan?"

"Why do you keep asking where Connor is?" Jim asked in annoyance.

Blair spoke slowly as if talking to a small child. "Megan is your guide Jim, she should be with you."

"I want to know where the hell you got that dumb-ass idea that Connor’s supposed to be my guide." Jim crossed his arms and frowned at Blair. He'd about had it with this conversation.

Blair defiantly matched his pose. "That last day, I came out of Simon's office and saw how easily she brought you out of a zone. All she had to do was touch your arm and you came right out of it."

Jim's eyes widened in disbelief. "You want to know how she tries to bring me out of a zone?" he demanded. "She pinches me. She takes hold of my arm, digs her nails in and pinches. And if that doesn't get my attention she kicks me in the shins."

"What?" Blair was obviously shocked by that information.

Jim unbuttoned his shirt and began to pull it off. "Look what she's done to me."

"Jim, man," Blair sputtered in confusion. "What are you doing?"

"Showing you what she does to bring me out of what she thinks is a zone. Look at this, Chief."

Jim's shirt was off now, revealing both arms covered with black and blue marks. He pulled up his pant legs to reveal more bruises while Blair could only stare in wide-eyed horror and whisper, "Oh my God, oh my God."

"I'm telling you, the woman has no clue what a zone even looks like. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred I’m not even zoning, I’m only trying to concentrate on something. Blair, I know I haven't always been the most cooperative student but you taught me well in spite of myself. Thanks to you, I can feel a zone coming on and I know how to stop them and pull myself back out. The only time I really need help is when my senses spike and believe me, Connor’s no good at talking me through the dials."

Blair backed slowly away and sat on the porch step. "Oh God. I believed Simon when he kept telling me what a great job Megan was doing helping you with your senses. What have I done?"

"You haven't done anything wrong, Chief." Jim sighed and sat on the step next to Blair. "I overheard Simon on the phone with the chief of police having a good laugh about how their plan had worked and they'd gotten you to leave."

"What?"

Jim shook his head in irritation. "It seems they never intended for you to accept the badge or make it through the Academy. Their plan all along was to get you out of the picture and keep me working hard for them solving their cases from hell. That's why Simon kept telling you what a great job Connor was doing working with me."

“It must have been true. You never even tried to call me after I left." Blair couldn't keep the hurt from his voice as he made a halfhearted attempt to justify his actions.

“He sent Connor and me on an undercover assignment that lasted almost a week. I wanted to let you know about it but he assured me he’d take care of that. When I got back, you were gone. I did try to call you but I got the message that your phone was out of service."

"The battery died and I discovered I'd forgotten to pack the charger." Blair blushed a little at this admission.

"I let Simon talk me out of looking for you." Jim's self-disgust was evident. "He argued that if you really wanted to be a cop you would have stuck around and I let him convince me that this was the way you wanted it."

"But Simon said you were happy working with Megan because she was better at helping you than I was."

"Is that what he told you? He told me you were happy doing desk duty and really didn't want to be out in the field. Damn. Why did I listen to him instead of talking to you?"

"Why would he lie to us?" Blair asked in a small voice. "He acted so pleased when I told him I'd decided to go to the Academy. I thought Simon was my friend."

Jim sighed heavily and shrugged. "Yeah, well I thought Simon was my friend too. Looks like we've both been had." 

At that point, Johnny emerged from the house where he’d obviously been listening to the conversation and stood on the porch looking extremely displeased. "Let me get this straight, Ellison," he addressed Jim. "You're saying that you didn't reject Sunny as your guide. He got lied to about you not wanting him around and you got lied to about him not wanting to be around. None of this was your doing and if you’d had a say in it, you'd both still be in Cascade working together. Is that right?"

Jim looked him in the eye and stated firmly, "That's right. As far as I'm concerned, Blair isn't just the best friend I've ever had. He is my guide and the only guide I care to work with."

"He's telling the truth, Johnny," Sam spoke quietly from the doorway where he stood with Tony.

Johnny glanced at him over his shoulder then angrily muttered, “Son of a Bitch!"

"You got that right," Jim replied.

Johnny sat down on the other side of Blair and regarded him sympathetically. "Want me to go shoot this Simon guy for you?"

"No!" Jim and Blair both said together.

"You're right," Johnny sighed, then brightened at a new thought. "I'll just invite him down here and throw him a Desert Party."

"Thanks for the offer but no!" Blair stated firmly.

Johnny pretended to pout. "Aw shit, Sunny. You're no fun anymore."

"Is anyone going to tell me what a Desert Party is?" demanded Jim in exasperation.

Johnny smirked in spite of Blair's elbow poking him in the side. "Well you see, this is an old mining town and the whole area is full of abandoned mine shafts. So you take someone who's pissed you off out to the middle of nowhere, beat the crap out of him, and dump him down a mine shaft. Then you leave him there, drink some beer, and go home." At Jim's shocked look, he innocently added, "So I've heard anyway. Course I've never done anything like that."

"Right," Blair drawled.

"I'm wounded." Johnny put his hand over his heart and shook his head in mock sorrow.

Jim smiled wickedly. "That's okay. I took care of Simon in my own way."

"Jim, what did you do?" Blair looked worried and held his breath as he waited for Jim's answer.

“I put my resignation and my badge on his desk along with a personal letter telling him exactly what I think of him.”

“You quit?” Blair’s dismay was evident. “Jim, you love being a cop. Protecting is what you do. Please don’t tell me you quit because of me.”

“I used to love being a cop but I’ll be damned if I’ll work for a man who pulls shit like this behind my back. He's worse than Oliver. At least Oliver never pretended to be my friend."

"But still, I hate that you quit because of me."

"Blair, listen to me." Jim put his hand on Blair's shoulder. "After all that talking we did after the dissertation mess, I thought you understood. You're the best friend I've ever had. No one else has ever cared about me the way you do. When my senses came back online, instead of acting like I was some sort of freak and telling me to go see a doctor, you explained what was going on. You may have started out looking at me as a research subject but you always treated me like a human being. You accepted everything about me and have shown me nothing but patience and understanding. You told me once it's about friendship and you're exactly right. Your friendship is the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm not about to give it up."

Blair opened his mouth to interrupt but was halted by Jim’s fingers on his lips.

“Don't stop me now, I'm on a roll.” Jim ignored the snickers coming from behind him and continued. “I once heard a friend defined as someone who knows your darkest secrets and loves you anyway. You've stuck with me even when things got unpleasant. If you’d really intended to disappear out of my life forever, you never would have left a paper trail big enough for a blind man to follow. It was ridiculously simple to find you once I stopped listening to Simon and started listening to my heart. And my heart tells me we were meant to be together.”

“That goes two ways you know,” Blair gently reminded him. “You've come through for me on more than one occasion. And I’m just as much to blame for not making a greater effort to talk to you. Remember, I took Simon’s word for how things were going too. If we’ve both been had, it’s because we both let it happen.”

“Never again, Chief,” Jim vowed. “Never again will someone be allowed to come between us.”

“Never again,” Blair agreed.

Johnny nodded to himself in satisfaction. Maybe Ellison wasn't so bad after all. Blair seemed willing to accept Jim's explanation and that would have to be good enough for Johnny. He turned to Sam and Tony and regarded them sternly.

"I hope you boys are listening to this. There's nothing more important in this world than friendship and the friendship between a sentinel and his guide is a very special thing. You need to be able to count on each other and that means you have to trust each other enough to talk about problems. Nothing and no one should ever be allowed to come between a sentinel and his guide, so don't ever let me catch you boys making the same mistake these two did."

"We won't forget, Johnny," Tony stated firmly and Sam nodded his head in agreement.

Blair cleared his throat and tried to move things to a topic less emotional. "So what did Simon say when you handed him your resignation?"

"Nothing at the time," Jim replied. "I left everything on his desk in the wee hours of the morning when no one was in, then I hopped in my truck and left town. I ignored my cell phone all day and believe me, it rang a lot but I knew it was just Simon. I suppose I could have shut it off but you can't imagine how much pleasure it gave me to know how hard Simon was trying to reach me. He left about twenty messages and each one was more desperate than the one before.” 

“Don’t you at least want to talk to him about this?”

“Not really. As far as I'm concerned, he has nothing to say that I want to hear and I said all I needed to in the personal letter I left for him."

"So if you're not going back to the Cascade PD, what are you planning on doing?" Blair wondered.

Jim smiled and stretched lazily. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'll find myself a little town up in the mountains and relax for a while. I've got some money saved up so I don't need to look for work right away. I think I deserve a vacation."

“Goldman’s a little town up in the mountains,” Blair observed casually.

“With no motels,” Johnny reminded him with a frown. He had a good idea where Blair was headed and wasn’t sure if he was ready to forgive Ellison enough to let him stay at his house.

Blair was about to ask if Jim could stay with them when he was interrupted.

"You've been using your senses for quite a while now, haven't you, Mr. Ellison?" Sam spoke up hesitantly. At Jim's nod, he continued. "I'll bet there are a lot of things you could tell me about being a sentinel. I mean, no offense Teach, you're doing a great job helping me and teaching Tony what to do, but you're not a sentinel and Johnny only has two enhanced senses, so he's not a full sentinel. I'm thinking maybe having another sentinel help me learn to be a better protector might be a good idea. If he's willing, that is."

Jim looked at Blair questioningly and Blair gave him an encouraging smile. "Well, I believe I could be persuaded to stick around a while and help out. If your teacher is willing, that is."

“More than willing. We just need someone to give you a place to sleep.” He turned to Johnny with a hopeful look.

Johnny balked at answering until he noticed that Sam and Tony had the same hopeful looks on their faces. He could tell he was outnumbered and sighed dramatically.

“All right, you can stay here. You’ve managed to patch things up with Sunny and it looks like Sam accepts you. He may be young, but he’s got good instincts so who am I to argue?"

He was rewarded with a brilliant smile and a hug from Blair. As Johnny hugged him back, he regarded Jim over Blair's shoulder. He whispered sentinel soft, "You hurt my boy again, Ellison, and you'll deal with me."

Jim nodded in acknowledgment and wondered how Blair had come to know these people. A man with two heightened senses who was obviously attached to Blair and another man with all five senses enhanced who was being taught by Blair. Neither gave him the bad feelings he had picked up when Alex was in Cascade and he was interested in learning their stories. At least his presence was accepted even if it was only for Blair's sake.

It would be a refreshing change to live in this small town and help Blair teach the new sentinel/guide pair. Jim looked forward to the experience especially since he would be working with Blair and couldn't help thinking, "This is where I'm meant to be."


End file.
